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What I mean of course one of the things I mean is that I’ve been in love before and I’ve lost love and I’ve been told over and over again by media and by books and people and everything just about that losing love is supposed to be the worst the absolute worst thing but Jesus it never felt this bad never even when it all fell apart and I started hearing voices not even then not even for an hour or a few minutes because then at least I was in love and what am I in love with now?

Filed by shaun at May 8th, 2002 under fidelite


Comment by roberto — 8 May 2002 @ 3:07 pm

i think even worse than that is when the realization comes that a person doesn’t need love at all

Comment by tony — 8 May 2002 @ 3:20 pm

yes, yes, i see. that is a hard one, but maybe it’s just the romance of storybooks that makes lost love into this horrid thing and it can be that bad, but it doesn’t have to be the absolute worst. maybe if you find something new to be in love with, then the struggle will make sense

Comment by ryan — 8 May 2002 @ 3:43 pm

a person needs love, not necessarily love for/of another person, but perhaps a love for the ocean, a love for crocuses, a love for latenight televison. for roughly 20 years this person has existed without love (hmm, does it count to exclude parents?) as this person is still existing and functioning one can conclude that love of/for another person is not required…simple solution: love something less complicated (High Fidelity=

good good read)(a love to ramble)

Comment by Anonymous — 8 May 2002 @ 3:50 pm

whoa. i love this post. the motor-ranting. impatient and yet emotive.

ha! i sound contrived there.

Comment by lennat — 9 May 2002 @ 8:28 am

hehe. someone just told shaun that “high fidelity” is a good read. that’s funny.

…i’ve been there before; but i know that at times like this empathy is useless, so excuse this.

Comment by allen — 9 May 2002 @ 12:02 pm

Maybe you weren’t in love at all. Maybe you were just so attatched to the status quo. Maybe you were so used to being with this person that you called it “love” just to give it a classification. Or maybe (and this is the most likely) I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.

Comment by Z-Gar — 13 May 2002 @ 1:06 pm

I never said it was a person.

Comment by Shaun — 13 May 2002 @ 10:12 pm

I just bought a one way Greyhound ticket for my regret…you give selfishly, change alter and better oneself, and the heart still suffers—-I have two oars in hand in the same boat as you. Releasing a bit on my blog has been well worth the effort!

Comment by btezra — 15 May 2002 @ 12:20 pm

isn’t prison a possibility too along with being instituted?

Comment by Anonymous — 16 May 2002 @ 6:05 pm

All things happen for a reason and there is a soul mate for everyone out there

Comment by morelove — 17 May 2002 @ 7:43 am

Prison, while always a possibility, is not nearly as likely as an institution. I’m too careful to get caught.

Comment by Shaun — 17 May 2002 @ 10:08 am

there is no such thing as insane- its a ploy to get people with more mental flexability to become mere drones like everyone else-

one of the things you generally have to do to get committed is agree with the decision others dictate- like when they want a confession before they feel comfortable executing someone-but under enough duress you can get anybody to say anything-

i can’t help thinking there used to be a function for ‘insane’ people our modern age has lost- there was a time when insanity was thought to be divine inspiration- a far cry from today’s chemical imbalance approach

in fact, i saw a zoloft commercial just the other day- i thought there was some ethical issue that prevented doctors (pharmacies) from advertising- of course, having seen it, and allowed that crap to get in my head, i may very well need it just so i can withstand the brainwashing the damn tube did to me even with that brief exposure- i always feel dirty after having watched television- old man pervert kind of dirty

Comment by tony — 17 May 2002 @ 11:28 am

and i beg to differ- some things don’t matter at all and that soul mate idea is poison- what if my soulmate is some peasant in China? how likely am i to meet them?

Comment by tony — 17 May 2002 @ 11:30 am

You’re obviously not in love with punctuation marks…that was a really long sentence. Anyways, my point: Why not just kill yourself? Not only will you hurt a lot less, but you’ll also save us a lot of time reading your whining and crying. Thanks, and have a wonderful day! =)

Comment by J — 19 May 2002 @ 10:58 am

don’t you just love how the assholes are always anonymous?

…also – aren’t prisons institutions to begin with?

Comment by allen — 20 May 2002 @ 5:04 pm

J: you can also save yourself the time by not reading this page. I don’t recall ever asking you (or anyone, for that matter) to do so.

Allen: Yes.

Comment by Shaun — 21 May 2002 @ 3:19 pm