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it wears me out

My savings account has 14 cents in it. My checking account is $16.10 overdrawn.

Our income and expenses allow us, after necessities like rent, utilities, and food, about $50 a week extra. It would be a fair amount of money if it were just for fun, but this is what pays for new shoes, window and door insulation for the winter, halloween pumpkins, clothes, etc. And we’re both so tired of living like this that we rebel (against our own buget, I guess, or maybe sensible behavior) and buy extra things. For instance, this weekend we bought some glucosamine for our bad hips/knees (I still don’t have health insurance) and two books. We did not need either of these things. We have not needed other, similar things.

And I am now overdrafted, which means I am out about $70–the charge for paying the transaction (gas) that put me over and the fee for being overdrafted–plus an additional $30ish for each day I’m overdrafted (which will depend on when my paycheck is direct-deposited). That means at least one–probably two–week’s extra money is gone. And we still need: two cats neutered (even low cost is still a cost), a winter coat, some serious dental work (no insurance). And there are loans that must be repaid.

Most of this stuff is my fault. Most of it was avoidable. We’re not seriously poor: we make more than 2.5 times the poverty threshold (this is a big step up for me from two years ago when I was about $500 from under it). Our income is sufficient for our necessary expenses if we just manage it very carefully. We have enough to eat. We have a place to live. It is a balmy 62°F. But we’re not very good at managing things as carefully as we need to, mostly, I think, because we’re tired of it. I would like to not have to budget for a little bit, to buy a six pack beer without cruising down the aisle to find the cheapest.

That’s it: It’s not that there isn’t money for things like beer. It’s just that there’s only money for Pabst. And I’d like some Goose Island.

This is part of a larger problem. It’s wearing me out.

Filed by shaun at October 31st, 2005 under a larger problem, indifferenthonest

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Pingback by indifferenthonest » don’t count your crows — 1 Nov 2005 @ 5:23 pm

listen here….the time is near. Decisions to be made,debts to be paid….its responsibility i fear. its accountibility that keeps me down. i know whats wrong….im a fish about to drown,im man about to suffocate outside.
Oh wait! i could, should and would
mt father is time and my mother is earth
God is my spine
but my back still hurts.

Comment by negative attitude — 16 Nov 2005 @ 1:33 pm